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 Making friends was so easy when I was a little kid. Then everyone grew up and I saw the true colours of everyone. I like to think I got along with everyone in my elementary class. I don’t think that would be true though. There are always people that don’t like you and I found that out when I was in high school. An old classmate from elementary school showed up and I tried to get along with her but she kept telling me weird things. She said she always thought I was a strange girl. Apparently she was afraid of me when we were little kids. I don’t know why though because I never bullied her and when I asked her the reason she responded with the usual “I don’t know”. When I first entered high school I had childish dreams. The kind where you have a lot of friends and every day is fun. Reality hit hard on me, like a rock maybe a lightning bolt. It’s not like I was a lonely wolf but I didn’t have a real friend at school until I was fourteen. I met a girl in my class and I thought she and I had the same trail of thoughts. I made a big mistake. After spending a lot of time hanging out with her I learned how selfish she was. She never thought about the feelings of others unlike me who actually thinks but doesn’t know how to react. 

 

Still I tried to get along and accepted her flaws but it was difficult since she didn’t accept me. At that time I got teased a lot by the guys from my class and even other classes. Sometimes they actually went too far so I would hit them. That and the fact my last name was unusual was reason for them to call me a member of the mafia. My so-called friend didn’t even defend me she just looked at me. The look she gave me was judgmental. Not only that but she disapproved my hobbies which were watching youtubers and anime. This resulted in me not talking about what I like and I could only listen to her blabbering about whatever. At that time I didn’t think it was that big of a problem but as time went by I realized that it was wrong. I always helped everyone when they needed me even the guys who teased me. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I remember that at that time my life was sinking like the titanic. My parents were arguing a lot and my results at school were going downwards too. I didn’t have anyone to talk about it because as lonely as it sounds but I didn’t have a real friend. I had people outside my class that I hung out with but I wasn’t that close to them. I don’t want to sound like a drama queen but I hated my life at that moment. I didn’t really think about the real world and just watched anime for days. I was like a zombie going through the same routine every day; wake up, go to school, come home, make homework, watch anime and sleep.

 

Then one day while I was watching anime I started talking to a guy through a chat. I didn’t know what to think of him; obviously I didn’t trust people in real life so why would the online community be different.  I kept talking to him though and we became friends. I didn’t expect to make a friend online but he was the reason my zombie routine changed. When I came home after school I waited for him to come online. He made me laugh; he made me happy. The problems I had seemed bearable. Around that time I also started going to anime conventions, that’s how I met my anime group. It started off with these three girls who I met at a particular convention only for anime. I still remember that day. I was wearing a cosplay of Louise from Zero on tsukaima. As soon as I met those girls it clicked. We became a close group and the group grew. I met their friends, some of them were guys. I remember when we went out, I met one of them and he was really shy. My best friend at the moment, who was also a girl from the group, was crazy. Well together we had a lot of fun and by the end of the day that shy guy was an open book. After that that guy, my best friend and I Skyped every day for months. A lot happened but the three of us were really close friends.  At school things were different, things still went bad and I eventually changed schools. When this happened I still talked the online guy and Skyped with my other friends. I remember the nights I spend on Skype just talking with my friends. We shared our stories about school and home. I didn’t elaborate a lot because I never liked to talk about my personal issues. Strangely enough I only had told my online friend about my problems. I did leak some of my worries to my friends but I was more of a listener and someone who gave advice. After a lot of drama within the anime group I distanced myself from them. I didn’t want to be tangled within the arguments. I did keep in touch with one of the girls but I didn’t really hang out with her. Again I was alone but during that time I made a friend in school. This girl who was then a classmate became my best friend. I know it sounds like I was repeating the same mistake but I didn’t. This girl actually liked other things than me but we both talked about our hobbies with joy. The reason why it clicked so fast was because we had the same opinion of teachers and other people. We met on the first day of school, it was like a scene in a movie because she sat down next to me and we started talking. That’s how we became closer. Things improved in my new school; along with my new friend my results were also higher than ever.

 

Then one day my previous best friend from the anime group started talking to me. We chatted online and made plans to go to an anime convention together. What I also had learned is the guy from our Skype group had found himself a girlfriend. I was happy for him until I saw the girl at the convention. I could see how she glued herself on to him and no I was not jealous. At that time I already had someone I liked so me not liking this girl was pure out of concern for a friend. It turned out my instinct was right. That girl became the reason for a new drama within the group. I remember arguments between her and others from the anime group. I also remember her cheating on her boyfriend with her ex. Of course this broke my friends’ heart. Not only that but he had issues at school. I tried my hardest to keep my friend from shutting down but I overestimated our friendship. I gave my advice and told him to keep his head up. Instead that girlfriend of his came back to him. I remember how I tried to stop him from falling for her cheap words. He didn’t listen to me, he said he loved her. I really tried but he ignored everything I said which made me realize I lost him as a friend. He chose another path, one which didn’t involve me. At first it was hard but I accepted it, after all it wasn’t the first time I got betrayed by a so-called friend. A long time I asked the others from the group about the situation but it only went down from that day. I left the group and only hung out with two girls from the group because they didn’t care for the drama either.

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My best friend at school and I had a lot of fun and made memories. My long time crush became my boyfriend and I entered my last year of high school. It was like high school musical filled with fun times and melodramatic days. I also figured out what I wanted to do in my future and to accomplish that I needed my diploma so I studied hard for my exams. Everything ended well and finally summer vacation started.  I went on a vacation with my best friend and my parents. We saw a clip of a song that we really liked and we decided to do a remake. It was so fun jumping in the sand while everyone stared at us. I am glad to say I’m going to university with my best friend. I’m happy to finally be able to say that I have a real best friend. When we returned home I had to prepare things for university and for my next trip. This is the trip on which I will finally meet my boyfriend in real life because yes he was the online friend I met in my most troublesome days. During this period of preparing I kept in touch with my friends over social media. Then suddenly one night that guy who ditched me for his girlfriend send a message to me apologizing for everything. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I had a conversation with him hoping he would understand there was no going back for us. I told him ‘I can forgive but I can’t forget’. He said he didn’t expect me to forget what happened but that’s not the issue here. I didn’t want to have anything to do with someone who posed as a close friend and then chose his girlfriend above me. I told him I didn’t want to talk anymore; I hope he got the message. I have a boyfriend, a best friend and a diploma. I‘m not going to repeat the same mistakes; some people don’t deserve a second change.