Anger or Sadness perhaps Happiness

 

Have you ever hated someone? Dislike anyone? Get annoyed more and more with every word they say? Have you ever hated a close friend? Are they still a friend then? I have no idea...

 

I once was a girl with a lot of friends. At least that's what I thought of them. I was little so I never really thought about it, was I popular, maybe ? I wonder where that popular girl is now. She dissapeared with time because she started thinking. She didn't act like others around her. She never felt more alone than then. Whenever she looked around she felt surrounded by a bunch of fools always wondering what on earth they are doing and why. She made friends after a while. Good friends and bad friends , they all came and went. She eventually found a really good friend. It was a girl with the same interests as her but she was more of a loud person than her. Still they got along to the point they called each other sisters. But oh was a mistake. As time passes, people do too. That girl became me , a happy and chill person, strong but sometimes the biggest idiot ever. My friend changed aswell, she needed more attention. Now she gets it from every boy she knows, from every friend she knows. She turned into a dramaqueen. Is that bad? Well horrible might be a better word. I don't want to hate her but she acts just like the girls that I tried to avoid for so many years. She hurts people's feelings and I wonder whether she notices that a lot of her closest friends started disliking her. I for example don't like hanging out with her anymore. I don't chat with her on the internet. We met a few times but real conversations never took place. This world might not be the world where we can be friends because every time I do hang out with her I wish she goes away. I feel exhausted just listening to her speak and laugh. Everything about her starts to disgust me, no it already does to the point that I interact with her to a minimum. Does she know that? Why did she change? Why that much? 

I wonder whether I should be mad at her behaviour, sad about our friendship that ceased to exist or happy because I don't see her everyday and I don't need to talk to her. When I think about her I feel like I lost someone in my life eventhough she is right there. I hope she will come to mind one day and realize that she should be herself. What she is right now is not the girl I wanted as a friend. Not the girl I called my sister. 

 

Changing isn't something we should rush, it comes when it does we will be ready but making mistaked and losing friends isn't what I want, neither does my friend. Hopefully she will come to this conclusion soon...