Troubled
“It will be alright. Get over it.” she kept telling herself. With a mind that was defeated by a screaming heart. It was so loud she always heard it yelling from the inside.
…
Yume was her name but her life wasn’t like a dream at all. The girl was used to troubles in life; she always pushed them away though. She was used to feeling sad so she learned to forget about everything that bothered her and made it through her days
.
One day Yume was entirely alone in her room, she wasn’t talking to anyone or chatting. She started listening to a song and suddenly she found herself not being able to stop the tears in her eyes. It was like her mind was turned off. She felt the wet drops falling from her cheeks on to her hands. She wiped away her tears but they kept coming. She could hear her heart; it was racing fast so she tried to calm down. Yume took a tissue to wipe away her tears and another one to blow her nose.
She lay down on her bed and tried to breathe slower. As she was calming down, her mind wandered off to another place. Yume turned her head and saw the picture on her desk. She stood up to take a better look. It was a picture of her and her brother when they were little. It was a picture with a mascot from an amusement park.
“We looked so happy without any worries. We had no clue of what was waiting for us. We were just enjoying the moment. You look so well there… how could I take all of your happiness away?”
Another tear flew over her cheek; it fell on the picture. She wiped it off but it was too late; her eyes were watery again. She looked at her other pictures. Several were with her parents and her friends.
“They would be better off without me. I only take the life out of them.”
Yume broke down in tears. She lay down on her bed again facing one of her plushies. It was a panda which was very special to her. A little smile formed on her face but it quickly disappeared.
“I’m so sorry. I came into your life, I shouldn’t have.”
A flickering light could be seen in the plushie’s eyes. Yume closed her eyes. She didn’t make any noise, not even a sniff. At that moment her phone lighted up; she saw her friends had messaged her. Even though she was not in a state to talk she answered every message, all in a way they wouldn’t notice her break down. It didn’t go as she planned, she couldn’t fool everyone. There was this guy; he was very special to her and knew her too well. He asked her if something was wrong. Unlike all the other times she answered with a clear no. She blurted all her feelings out. Just as she thought, he tried to give an answer to her troubled heart but that’s not what she wanted. She wanted the pain to go away. Still she listened to what the guy said but she didn’t feel the same way. At the end she just decided to pretend everything was okay again.
Yume tried to convince herself too but after that day she didn’t forget her troubles. Yume felt her heart break down day by day. It hurt and she couldn’t do anything about it, she didn’t know how.
