Is it to possible to feel lonely when you actually have friends? That's what I ask myself a million times a day.

Maybe that's because I'm different from others. I don't want anyone's attention , I'm just keeping quiet and observing others. I know what they like or dislike, I know how people are ,even before I met them. I've always watched how others react to things, how they answer and how they deal with problems. Being like this I never really got the chance to let people see my true colors.

I don't have real friends, just a lot of people I hang out with. They know nothing about me. I've always wanted to open up more , I'm also a girl like others so it's only normal I want to have a boyfriend but I've always been just a friend, I've always been a sister. Never was I the girl they liked more than just a friend or a sister. I've had crushes but my love life was not a fairy tale. I didn't have a good end not even once.

I dreamed about my guy, I know how we will meet. I would be at school and I would be in a hurry to be in class on time but then I would slip there right at that moment he would catch me and I would look in his warm eyes. I also know this is impossible but why can't I have a good end like others, have I done something wrong to deserve this? People would say it's just life and I shouldn't give up. I'm not giving up but I don't like the feeling of being alone like this. I need someone to hug me , make me happy when I'm sad. I need people to have fun with and who I can be truthful with...